wafer-thin mint (and lazy cv)

Before the hols, after trying (to no avail) to get through to the Embassy of Ukraine, I just decided to go and check their website. I found the English button (Cyrillic is very pretty but of no much use to me), and my eyes immediately moved towards the last quote from an article on Kiev "As Warm Chestnuts Embrace you…" Loved it

I decided to machine-translate the original Cyrillic sentence again (just for kicks, I had time, too much of it.) What I got this time round was "Once in Brown Embrace, Let Yourself..." I pissed myself laughing and gave up. The latter was by no means as poetic as the former but we were entering seriously wrong innuendo territory. I thought, Ukraine, here we come.

 

 

The above was our very first contact with Ukrainian English. On the plane on our way to Kiev. How wonderful is that.

Later on we came across the correct but much less amusing version of the peppermint-flavoured toothpick.

(P.S. This is not meant as a mockery against anyone or anywhere in particular. 
I just love my c.k. watt-type boo boos. I also just read cv's theme this week is "humour" (a bit erratic on the old cv, as you know), so hey, click on that last link, if you wish.)

c.k. watt?

As far as I'm concerned the below is one of the best comedic dialogues ever. I'm a bit of a language buff so, obviously, I love this sort of Babel-like misunderstanding nonsense.
Fawlty Towers still makes me giggle every time I watch it. I got my dad the whole series last Xmas and I think I can still hear his belly laugh when we watched this bit together. He's a great fan. It must run in the family.

Mrs Richards: Is there anyone else in attendance here? Really, this is the most appalling service I've ever h...
Polly: Good idea! Manuel, could you lend Mrs Richards your assistance in connection with her reservation?
Manuel looks puzzled
Mrs Richards: Now, I've reserved a very quiet room, with a bath and a sea view. I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, so please make sure I have it.
Manuel: Qué?
Mrs. Richards: What?
Manuel: Qué?
Mrs. Richards: K?
Manuel: Sí.
Mrs. Richards: C? K.C.? K.C.? What are you trying to say?
Manuel: No, no, no, no. Qué, "what."
Mrs. Richards: K. Watt?
Manuel: Sí, qué, "what."
Mrs. Richards: C. K. Watt?
Manuel: Yes!
Mrs. Richards: Who is C. K. Watt?
Manuel: Qué?
Mrs. Richards: Is he the manager, Mr. Watt?
Manuel: Oh! Manajer!
Mrs. Richards: He is?
Manuel: Ah! Mr. Fawlty!
Mrs. Richards: What?
Manuel: Fawlty!
Mrs. Richards: What are you talking about, you silly little man? (to Polly) What is going on here? I ask him for my room and he tells me the manager is a Mr. Watt, aged forty.
Manuel: No, no, no, Fawlty.
Mrs. Richards: Faulty? What's wrong with him?

Should you have some time to spare, here's just an excerpt of the hilarious Communication Problems episode (one including the above conversation as well as another precious disagreement regarding Mrs. Richards room with a view.)

c.k. watt is one of the labels I've been using on this blog when c.k. watt-sort-sitos arise. I love to say it out loud. We often do in the house now. It definitely applies when people of different nationalities get/live together. Defo.

Oh yeah, not sure whether the actual experience was any good, but when I read this article back in August, the idea really made me smile.

the gruesome "morbidity" of the amaretto

They look pretty healthy to me, though!

Mi scusi, ragazze! Babel strikes again. :)

or else...

Hotel corridor, wonderfully manic Bangkok, about two years ago.
Still not sure whether I complied or not!

knowing one's onions...

A few years ago, whilst a student living in the UK (ahem, let's re-phrase: many years ago, whilst a student living in the UK), my adorable yet bonkers friend E sent me this on the mail.
It came on a brown leather string (I seem to remember) and it is one of la ninja's old nicknames, born years ago playing around with the letters of yet another previous nickname. Either way, hilarious as it was I don't think I ever wore it or, at least, I never did in public. (Okay, if you are reading, E, just imagine yourself walking around a small Spanish town wearing a necklace reading "CEBOLLAS" hanging from your neck... Nah, it just doesn't work, too much attention-seeking and not necessarily of the right kind!). The hilarity of it all didn't go unnoticed by my flatmates but that's as far as it went, I decided not to share it with the rest of the world.

However, a couple of weeks ago, during the Xmas break I found the loose letters inside a little tin box in my old bedroom at my parents' apartment so I took them with me. I have just strung them (rather rudimentary) through a simple black thread and they are now hanging on the cork board in the hallway. I still know my onions, me!

place it on the map

"Should we meet at the place?"
"Which place, my place?"
"No, not your place, the place!"
"The place? Which place? Your place?"
"No, man, THE Place!!!"
"???"

Guess what Plaats means in Dutch (go on, three guesses)! Lovely name for a... place, really!

Okay, in all fairness (and according to the Van Dale), it can also mean square which, again, is nothing short of genius! Fancy having a square called Square! But... hang on a minute, there IS a square called Square, or Plein, in Dutch!

I just love the simplicity of it all! I honestly do!

priceless...

Lost in translation: road sign carries email reply

A council put up a Welsh language road sign reading "I am out of the office at the moment" when it should have said "No entry for heavy goods vehicles".

Swansea council contacted its in-house translation service when designing the bilingual sign. The seeds of confusion were sown when officials received an automated email response in Welsh from an absent translator, saying: "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated."
Unaware of its real meaning, officials had it printed on the sign. The council took down the sign after Welsh speakers spotted the mistake.
Source: Ben Quinn, The Guardian, 1st November 2008 - Photograph: PA

Oh yeah, and this one's pretty precious too!